By: Julia Norman

Part of that transformation is the inevitable result of the ongoing genocide in Gaza. Witnessing the atrocities being waged against Palestinains go on day after day with impunity has changed us all. Such horrors will change anyone who bears to look. 

Facing those in power who would see the genocide continue has also changed me. Engaging with their self-righteous hatred on a daily basis has challenged the depths of my patience and resolve, and exposed the harsh realities of the time and place in which I live.  I have only been able to make sense of it and move forward in community.

Therein lies the other part of this transformation: finding a remarkable group of individuals doing their part to try and stop the genocide.

In just over a half a year, CODEPINK DC has become a safe-haven as well as a launch pad into the most uncomfortable and heartbreaking truths I’ve faced in my life. I have learned so much with and from this community, and the relationships I have built will last a lifetime. It feels as though we have all already lived a lifetime together. 

There are moments in this relatively short, yet agonizingly long period that stand out. Harrowing and/or heartfelt conversations. Historic votes. Massive rallies. Arrests. Innumerable tears shed. Deep belly laughs. Many vivid memories that offer glimpses into how much we have experienced together. Even so, as I conclude this current chapter in DC, I find myself inclined to revisit my very first days in Congress. My introduction serves as a benchmark for how I've grown and reminds me how and why CODEPINK came to be such a significant part of my life…

In the days before I first joined CODEPINK, U.S. airmen, Aaron Bushnell, self immolated a few miles from where I live. As a young man of my same age, Aaron’s ultimate sacrifice to protest the U.S.’ complicity in the genocide in Gaza, served as a resounding personal wake up call.  

I had been trying to combat the repression of ‘pro-Palestinian’ and/or ‘anti-genocide’ speech on my university campus for months. My administration had been shamefully dismissive and woefully hypocritical in its policies towards any student, faculty, or staff member seeking to stand in solidarity with the Palestinian people. I felt hopeless, aimless, and deeply disturbed as my attempts to speak for basic human rights were met with stifling silence or condemnation. At times, I questioned if I were disillusioned or going insane. 

I thus found resonance with what I had considered to be grave desperation in Aaron’s act. I sought guidance from trusted Professors: How could I also be a louder voice for Palestinians? Where else could I go beyond my campus? What more could I do for Gaza, especially as an American, especially in D.C.? It was then I was directed to join Medea Benjamin in the halls of Congress.

The night before, I stayed up practicing potential talking points while feeling incredibly anxious about what I might experience the next day. Did I need special credentials? Would I do a disservice to Palestinians, not having the right words to describe their struggle? Was I qualified enough to join their group? Would they accept me? I was worried about all the wrong things. 

I was still unaware of the flagrant inhumanity I would encounter from so many elected officials and their staffers. I did not expect the level of repression and harassment we would face from the police. Conversely, I could have never anticipated the radical love and acceptance I would find from the CODEPINK community. 

My first day in Congress was relatively quiet. I met a small, welcoming group of individuals who to my surprise did not vet or quiz me. I was asked only what brought me to Congress and who my Representative was. Soon, we were headed to speak with the foreign policy staffer in their office. I was given the chance to voice my concerns as a constituent, and was immediately met with encouragement by the CODEPINK team. At the end of the day, I was asked to record a video describing the experience alongside another fellow student.

The following morning I returned to an entirely different environment. I entered a hearing room of organized chaos, as Secretary of “Defense,” Lloyd Austin, was set to testify before the House Armed Services Committee. There was a swarm of press, and CP’s National Co-Director, Danaka, and Co-Founder, Medea, were being forcibly escorted out of the hearing room by police. Their hands were painted red, and they were holding signs that read “Remember Aaron Bushnell,” and “Austin: Gaza’s Blood Is On Your Hands.” Shortly afterwards, a Capitol police officer saw my black, red, and green shirt reading, “Until We Are All Free, None of Us Are Free,” and told me I’d be arrested if I also did not leave with the other protestors. That I too, was “illegally demonstrating.”

Those first ten minutes were overwhelming, but the day quickly proceeded as if this were business as usual. There was little time to stop and think about how I felt. We were acting with urgency. Others were already taking off down the halls. I was soon introduced to ‘bird dogging’ members of Congress, and watched for the first time as Medea and the team seemingly fearlessly shouted, “War Criminal!” and “Secretary of Genocide!” as Lloyd Austin returned to his SUV after the hearing. Their courage, rooted in moral clarity, astonished me. Before that day, I never imagined I would share hallway space with top-ranking military officials or members of the Presidential Cabinet, let alone confront them.  I remember going home feeling utterly exhausted, but certain I had stumbled upon something I had to give everything to. 

The weeks and months ahead would unfold as varied as the first two days had. Some days– even some weeks when Congress was out of session– were quiet. The work primarily consisted of education in Congressional offices. Other days were hectic, spent going from hearings to a press conference to birdodding members after a vote. Every day unfolded differently. Everyday I grew increasingly more attune to the responses of my autonomic nervous system. 

Looking back now, I realize why I took to CODEPINK so intently. 

For one, it provided an outlet where I felt empowered, or at least more capable of making a difference. The reality that I could face some of the individuals directly responsible for arming Israel’s genocide arsenal astounded me. The reality too, that I could carry the voice of millions of people calling for a free Palestine in the halls of Congress, felt a responsibility I could not turn away from. I had to at least attempt to be a voice of truth in a place so disconnected from reality and so responsible for facilitating war crimes.  Aaron had given his life. Palestinians were (and still are) being slaughtered in the hundreds, daily. I could at least give some of my time. With the CODEPINK community to guide me, I increasingly found more courage to speak up.

I also met Palestinian Americans who in the midst of grieving the loss of loved ones and the destruction of their homeland were advocating with clarity and fervor for liberation. Their presence and words were poignant and inspiring. If they could turn their pain into the motivation to seek justice from a government sponsoring apartheid, occupation, illegal settlement, ethnic cleansing, and the torture, starvation, and  mass murder of their loved ones in Palestine, I could, at the very least, stand with them. 

In doing so, I also found the people I was so desperately seeking. I was able to share space and learn from those driven to act upon their principles and values. I found comfort being around those whose conscious reality was similar to my own, and who were outspoken about their share of our collective grief. 

I must acknowledge how much I benefited from being welcomed with such care. Everyone I met was so kind and supportive, and CODEPINK almost immediately helped reinstill my hope and gave me a sense of purpose. Although showing up to Congress requires subjecting oneself to immorality and cruelty on a regular basis, CODEPINK still- on net- offers soul repair. I know that part of my work with CP was driven by my own need to be understood and feel connected to others. 

In my first few weeks with CODEPINK, I probably would have described it at face value: an anti-war feminist organization that uses creative, disruptive protest tactics to advocate for peace. There’s certainly some truth to this. However, it did not take long for me to understand CODEPINK to be so much more. In DC, CODEPINK is a gathering place for an intergenerational, diverse community of humanitarians who convene to speak for the rights and freedom of all human beings. At this moment, most everyone is called together to advocate for Palestinians. CODEPINK is also an integral part of a broader network of advocacy organizations. The DC chapter consistently brings together a coalition of representatives from various anti-war organizations, and each and every day, our team looked somewhat different. People sometimes travel from far distances to join, and veterans of the group rotate in and out. Anyone with an open heart and mind is welcome.

While I participated in a fair share of the actions that CODEPINK is famous for–  disruptions, ‘die-ins’ in offices, a White House Correspondents dinner, and a whole-lot of bird-dogging– a large majority of my time in Congress (and where I ultimately found myself most useful), was devoted to our daily educational efforts. Every weekday I had the opportunity to meet with staffers and interns, and on a rare occasion a member themself, to advocate for Palestine. I spent countless hours with the often unseen and unknown heroes of our ever-expanding family, speaking critically and extensively about the realities of life in Gaza and the West Bank and refuting Zionist propaganda. By responding to recent and relevant legislation and requesting certain action-items from members, the visits also helped us hold the Congressional offices accountable and express the will of the people. Our consistent presence also helps foster meaningful relationships with staffers, who serve as the information filters and policy informers for the Senators and Representatives shaping our imperial ‘foreign policy.’ While there is no real means to monitor and evaluate the difference this work makes, I believe speaking truth in places of power matters. I considered this to be the heart of my work with CODEPINK.

Before I first entered the Rayburn cafeteria, I had more or less stopped tracking domestic politics. I was disillusioned with the two-party system (this has only intensified), and I did not see value in monitoring Congress’ daily destructive antics. Over these months, however, CODEPINK has facilitated a meaningful education into the federal legislative process that has required I re-engage with our so-called democracy. From tracking Congressional letters, sitting through hearings, following votes, attending briefings, seeing the recess schedule, and/or debriefing our conversations with staffers and the news emerging from Palestine together in the cafeteria, CODEPINK offered a real pathway towards civic engagement and building my civic knowledge. 

I now feel that for those who find it safe enough and accessible to do so, showing up and holding our members of Congress accountable is an important aspect of maintaining a healthy democracy. Medea often notes how a majority of Americans do not realize Congressional offices are open to the public. This was certainly true for me. Today, I share in her message; Congress is supposed to be "The People’s House,” and we have a right to be heard in this space as well as in our Members’ district offices. 

This work also laid bare how our “democracy” is currently functioning. 

There exists a long-standing critique of Congress, that while key issues for the American taxpayer go underfunded or unaddressed– affordable healthcare, housing and food, public education, renewable energy and clean infrastructure development, securing  social security and veterans benefits, etc. –  billions of taxpayer dollars are funneled towards facilitating war. I found this to be unequivocally true. While the idea that the federal government misallocate’s funds was not a revelatory for me, witnessing Congress devote such an obscene amount of its time towards facilitating death, destruction, and resource theft around the world, re-contextualized my understanding of the role ‘partisan gridlock’ or ‘mounting federal debt’ plays in siphoning taxpayer money away from social welfare.

Sparse, potentially substantive, time in session is spent platforming foreign and/or corporate interest groups’ nonsensical propaganda on a daily basis. It seems the only thing uniting Democrats and Republicans is their willingness to increase paychecks to weapons manufacturers and serve the will of their PAC donors. There is, what I perceive to be, a total absence of ethics and growing sense of elitism in our Congress. The needs and will of the American public seems almost all but irrelevant.  It felt increasingly necessary to participate in CODEPINK's efforts to expose how ill-informed and immoral the majority of “our” Congress members are.  

Despite this grim reality, CODEPINK also fostered my own resolve and helped me practice cultivating radical joy. The creative protest tactics that Medea, Jodie, Michelle, and the rest of the brilliant ladies of CODEPINK dream up never fail to make me laugh or smile, even as their message breaks my heart. They are gifted in their ability to poke fun at the corruption and criminal nature of our Congressional members while not making light of the situation at hand. Medea’s pink hearts also add a desperately needed pop of color to hallways that seem void of love and levity. CODEPINK has helped me better understand the importance of sowing seeds of hope and humor on a regular basis.  

This has been especially helpful, as during my time with CODEPINK, there have been repeated attempts to delegitimize our organization and its members. I consider claims that we are paid anti-American propagandists, and/or foreign agents (usually working for the Chinese Communist Party or Iran) only testaments to the character of our accusers and the extent of our impact. The inability of others to relate to or accept that there are those willing to give their time to speak up for humanity, does not make it any less true. Similarly, no one can minimize the impact of their actions by deflecting with personal attacks. Fear of, disdain for, and/or lies about the truth cannot not diminish it.  

As an individual, I have been repeatedly called a terrorist, physically threatened, assaulted, and falsely arrested for standing with CP for a free Palestine. In each instance, I am humbled. I come to recognize more clearly the extent to which racism and white supremacy plagues our society. I have seen in such a concentrated way how my identity has allowed me to hear of, but rarely if ever be experience, the dehumanization and oppression people of color face on a regular basis.  Ultimately, these experiences have only further radicalized me in so far as committing myself to fight against systems of injustice, extraction, and exploitation at greater personal risk. CP has played a significant role in lifting the veil on semblances of fairness, justice, and/or genuine progressive values within our current political system. For so many reasons, this has been an incredibly eye-opening period.

I have often heard fellow advocates say we've seen the best and absolute worst of humanity during these past ten months. A part of me resists conceding this. I feel a need to reject any suggestion that there is some sort of silver lining to genocide. And yet, it is undeniable that many of us have witnessed and experienced communities of resistance expanding and strengthening. There is a great deal of hope to be found as people unite in a shared vision for humanity and take care of one another’s emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being as they do so. Those who do not just speak of love, but practice it. 

CODEPINK is one community– among many– playing a part in building these alternative visions for our world. These revolutionary, diverse, collectivist communities, built around mutual aid, inherently resist and dispel myths and systems of white supremacy and racialized and extractive capitalism. 

Our immediate horizon shows the U.S. government heading towards war with China, bolstering armament and expanding nuclear weaponry via NATO, launching military interventions in the Caribbean, Africa, Latin America, and Southeast Asia, and sponsoring more death, displacement, and devastation for civilian communities across the region known as the Middle East. 

At the same time, an ever-widening alternative is emerging. The resilient path towards freedom and collective liberation is becoming clearer, and the numbers of those pursuing it, greater. This is the path that seeks a free Palestine. The path that seeks a free Congo, a free Sudan, a free Haiti, a free Tigray, a free Yemen, a free Kashmir…a world free of imperialism and occupation. Many have no choice but to walk it. They are fighting for their freedom. Others are required to recognize that there is no alternative. There is the path of life, of unity and healing, of regenerating landscapes and pursuing the dignity and sovereignty of all peoples in their homelands. And then there is the path of endless war, of death, destruction, and materialism; of falsely denying life’s sacredness and killing us all- some faster than others.- in the process.

To walk the path of life requires greater empathy and courage. It demands a willingness to face suffering, but it also winds into greater depths of meaning and gratification. CODEPINK has undoubtedly helped me set forth more intently down this path.

While I leave with many new mothers and mentors, as well as brothers, sisters, grandmothers, friends, and colleagues, I also feel the loss of Palestinian mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, infants and grandparents, acutely. Family members lost in the dozens, even hundreds, every day. I leave as the violence escalates.

Thus, while I find myself moving on from my time with CODEPINK DC, there is no moving on from the work that remains to be done. Instead, I transition into the wider circle of collectivists, anti-imperialists, and/or peace-advocates, CODEPINK is doing its part to help foster. My task is to build upon the knowledge I’ve gained and use it as the means through which I connect with others.  To share some of the abundant love I have received and try to channel the strength and good nature of my family from CODEPINK.  This is how I will honor what I have learned and keep my faith.

My time with CODEPINK has been transformational, but most of all, it has sparked a transformation that continues to unfold, and for that I am grateful.